If writing can reduce stress, the question may be what to write. If stressed, many people will grab a paper, stare at it blankly, pen frozen midair. They might stab the paper, draw ugly pictures, say nasty thoughts, or crumple the paper up in frustration and throw it.
Some ideas about what to write include:
· A journal of thoughts
· A diary
· A poem or poems
· A description of the conflict that just happened
· Stories about your family life
· Prayers
Relax First
So if stress can affect how you feel while writing, the first start to any time taken for writing should be to relax and create a sense of safety.
If you’re too wound up to think, take a walk or a hot bath, imagine your thoughts are a blank sheet of paper, let everything go. If you’re just tense, move on to the next relaxation technique.
To relax, start by squeezing your face, neck, hands, feet, every muscle you can think of and hold it that way for a count of ten.
Then take a deep breath, hold it for a count of ten, then release it. Do this several times.
Now imagine your most favorite place in the world, swimming, sitting amid flowers or trees, or watching an eagle soar over the mountain, whatever works.
Then begin to write.
Types of Writing
A journal of thoughts can be focused on the conflict, by listing all the reasons why or why not. It can focus on how you feel, in your body such as tension, or emotionally, such as anger, resentment, fear, hatred, annoyance, ready to cry, depressed, wanting to give up, feeling like a failure. Share all. Later, when calm, try to organize your thoughts, and ask yourself questions, write a summary of what you really think. Or it can focus on other issues in your life.
A diary is something used daily to record whatever you wish. Events, surprises, new places, anything you experience is game. The purpose of a diary is to escape from conflict or just offer gratitude.
Poems capture moments, pictures, conversations, experiences, comparisons, but does so by cutting out anything non-essential. Poems are often structured, use rhythm and rhyme, try to match sounds, and move the experience from something personal into something everyone can share. The diary or journal of thoughts can be mined for poems, meaning pieces are used. Poems can also be written out as you think it.
When I was growing up, my questions and reactions to my brother getting involved with drugs produced many poems as I reacted to situations where he ran away, acted stoned, fought with my parents, ended up crying, or made me upset. Sometimes a history of writing can offer perspective on events that occurred long ago.
A description of what occurred during a moment of conflict such as a walkout or fight or battle of words can act just like telling a friend the story. To do this, list what is said, then add information about people’s expressions, physical reactions like slamming doors or turning red, and where and when it occurred.
Sometimes bad events are the hardest to write. Telling stories allows a person to share bad and good events. Writing about what caused you to laugh, or cry, or an odd event can help restore willingness to work through a problem.
There’s a lot to learn about writing, but easy to get started. If you’re thinking about the past, those arguments can be a good place to start, as are the major changes in life such as baptism, birth, graduation, trips, marriage, sickness, deaths, education. Change is often a source of conflict and there are a variety of reactions to conflict, this description of the change process in a person’s life can be illuminating.
The Kelley and Conner Emotional Cycle of Change offers a view of the ups and downs experienced when life brings change.
If writing seems like a good choice, remember to keep the pen moving, don’t stop to edit or fix errors or add more.
Remember, prayer is a "thank you", a "please help me or someone else", an "I really hurt", or a "God’s gifts and bounty are wonderful". Prayers can be short and heartfelt and released without writing. They remind us that people are human and make mistakes. They remind people that the world has good. Sometimes a moment of conflict is so intense that it makes it easy to not see the big picture.
Relax, time will offer a solution.